Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness
October is a month marked by pregnancy and infant loss awareness; as someone who lost a son at birth, I feel that having an entire month dedicated to remembering our babies, who couldn’t be here, means so much.
It’s been three and a half years since my husband, and I said goodbye to our firstborn, Tom Luke, not a day goes by that I don’t think of him, no matter how busy I am, he is always on my mind.
The truth is a loving parent never forgets, they never stop missing, caring, and grieving their angel. I very much long to embrace my son.
Grieving the loss of an infant that died due to a miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death is the only right thing a parent can do for their angel. This is love, this is the heart of a mother and father.
Whether you are a person of faith or not, deep down, we all have a sense of the intrinsic value of human life – as a Christian, I firmly believe this. That is why loss is so painful at every stage of life, born and pre-born.
I remember, at my son’s funeral, reading from Psalm 139, where verse 14 says, “I praise you, Lord, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” we are all fearfully and wonderfully made, we all bear God’s image right from conception. Our value comes from our creator.
God is a loving father who understands our pain. 2 Corinthians 1:3, describe God as being compassionate, He understands the human condition “praise be to the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort that we receive from God.”
God knew the pain of losing his beloved son.
Many people, say to the bereaved regarding the deceased love one, that it was God’s will, they may mean well. While pain and suffering are guaranteed in this broken world, 1 Corinthians 15:26 says that “death is the last enemy to be destroyed,” death is unnatural our God is living, He is about life, not death. God is alongside us, weeping with us, wanting us to draw close to Him.
Sadly, while disease, death, and sorrow are part of this world, God made a provision for us to have a new and eternal life with Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. He is our hope and salvation if we would repent and believe in what He did on our behalf, on the cross at Calvary.
I know that one day I will be with Jesus and my son, Tom Luke, in heaven, not because of any of my works but because of Jesus’s work, out of His infinite love for me.
In the early days of my grief, I was as far away from God, at least that’s what I thought, I was angry with Him, I would ask Him – why did my baby have to die? How could you let this happen? And while I will never know the answer, I know I can trust Him.
I remember amid all the chaos going on in my mind, that still small voice saying, “come to me,” it was so full of fatherly love.
I am thankful that God has been patient with me and has loved me and been gentle with me through my sorrow, pain, and anger, and I’m doing better, I will always grieve the loss of my son, but I have a hope and a future.
I want to mention that I didn’t have much counseling because I wasn’t really ready to communicate my feelings to anybody; I just felt anger. I do plan to speak with someone when I feel ready, it’s an important thing to do because infant loss is a great tragedy.